shhhhhhhh
i am in class
writing a blog
sittin' next to josee'

older people don't think so much like formatting machines
apa frightens them
i automatically thought like a computer today
i copy paste reiterated when i ordered at gracies
I was like "hi, can I have thai chicken curry rice surprise" or something like that
and she was like. "bahhgh. you mean SOUP???"
and i felt very silly and robot like.

my mantra today is
"nothing is in your control, let go"
this does not mean i stop bathing
this means i don't squeeze every thought i have into a hardened pellet of "what, aaaargh?"
i like art
it's a lot of work
i would like to just work in the art studio all the time and not have midterms
although i also like learning about systems
i miss biology
there are so many complicated processes in EVERYTHAAAANG
especially cell biology

i want to do taxidermy
it's like totally gross but you'd learn so much about anatomy
you have to even make like fake plaster muscles and veins
josee' is watching me blog

so meta
blogging about blogging
i'm an idiot

let's hit josee' if we see her drink soda
let's hug her brain very gently when she looks sad
lo, it is important.

we're learning about introductions
this ridiculous guy who taught me english said it was like foreplay
he was very silly
it is all methodical and such.

i wish i had a pompadour
except maybe not
i want to go shopping
but i have too many thingies.

my poodle is sad
i don't like that i find him so fragile and clingy
i will raise my next poodle alone
he will have none of these neuroses
i will give him booties for the snow
he will be soft and chocolate coloured
and have yeller eyes
like the puppy momma sent away on a plane
QQ

I would like to make a magazine like cosmogirl
except it wouldn't suck balls
it'd be like nylon, except not just a huge ass list of buzz bands.

bye guys

josee' sez:
eat your vegetables
(it ironic)

sheepysheepysheepysheep

There are many here at my dad's They've been dewormed and such.
I shouldn't drink gin, Juniper berries used to flavor it create some depression.

sometimes i drink to get depressed, because being depressed makes me feel closer to you.

you could call that love, i think i call it stupidity.

i am hungry and my dad is whistling and i just went on a long walk with my sister through the woods and apple orchards near by. We talked about people's lame roommates, and how one's own roommates can be lame, I think it would be hilarious/ shitty to always call your roommates your buzzkills.
My pappy picked honey mushrooms, we are going to fry them and eat them, what what.
I am still so excited at the fact I am in the art program. HEEHEEEHEEEHEEHEEE.
I look at my phone, hoping he texted, when he hasn't, I sigh relief. I think this means I'm actually getting over him to some degree, not just lying about it.
When I mope now, I think "you have all life to mope about this, don't even worry, there's cool stuff going on right now though" and sometimes that actually makes me get over it for a second.
This morning I woke up like, bleh. Then I thought "my brain drags my body around by a string". I think, it feels passionately. It's my brain though, beatin' up on my body when it doesn't always need to. My body shouldn't be a vessel for huge passing sensations all the time. It should also get to run around and eat more yummy food and sing and sleep and I think I should live life a little like a happy poodle.