Hey guyz
I'm gonna write a blog while in class. Cause. It'll be rambly.

Sometimes I feel like a huge twat. One time in the summer I had half a head of stub and half a head of hair and a two headed cat shirt and american apparel shorts and ripped up keds and I was smoking and complaining and then realized that I was a gigantic twat. It's real rough when it hits you in the face.
Sometimes, it's real fun to be a twat. But mostly in the summer. The time of ultimate decadence and scariness! You don't need to plan your clothing to be warm or nothing and everyone's just lazing around, super duper poor. It excites me but it's almost awful because it's like how my life could be all the time if I was almost a hobo in california in some tiny nowhere town. So much freedom but also very little to fall back on. I can eat candy until I puke and my teeth fall out and then go to the food bank or mooch off my friends. Scary things indeed
Koval just said the first word of her sentence with a british accent after someone with a british accent answered a question

I am allergic to my roommates cat atilla. It's making our relationship strained. I can't pet him. Now I can't even let him out cause Amanda doesn't want him out- he fights. So all I can do now is tell him to stop meowing. It's rough. I want to cradle him like a big fluff baby and smoosh my face into him.
I hope I get a job this summer that doesn't involve getting snarked at/ making food. That is unlikely. I can't even get excited about my sister inviting me to spain, because I'm supposed to have money for this that I don't have...

I'm so weird because I mostly worry about getting my heart broken/ breaking someone else's heart/ missing art opportunities/ being poor/ working minimum wage/ getting sick (that happens to me a lot)- I guess because this point in my life feels very vulnerable and ready for all of these things
And all these things happened last summer.
Merp. I worry too much.

My roommate's rat had seven rat babies. They look like tiny puppies!!! They squeak when ophelia accidentally steps on then. She breastfeeds them! It's crazy! Tiny mammals!
Rats are so cute and squishy and crawly and smart and they never poop on you. They like you to put them on your shoulder and give them little bits of your food- then they chatter with happiness near your ear.
I really want a female rat in my roooooom to be my buddy

If I get worried when I'm poor, I shouldn't be in art school should I? hhhhhhh

If not a little chocolate coloured rat, a little chocolate coloured poodly doodly should do. :D

I have too many emotions. I woke up in a random hour and a half state of anger about nothing last morning, and then last night when I showered, I felt a lot of guilt. I feel great right now. When I have emotions that are strange, there is a voice in my head that goes "TYPICAL WOMAN!" and I'm like "yesus chist, shush you. everyone's ridiculous." I used to have a worse voice in my head than that. It'd be like "you're such a ridiculous girl. you are a ridiculous friend and girlfriend. You talk too much." That voice is no longer there. I feel like I internalized stupid self talk I'm now getting rid of. Maybe from like middle school or high school or something. I wonder what voices chastise other people- how those politically incorrect chastisers sometimes nag them.

I love toast + pb + banana + honey + cinnamon! with a cup of dark dark french roast coffee. <3 yessssss
I love sharing food with friends
I don't like when people hover when I'm making things so I have to give them some though. That's weird. They should just ask for a taste after and see if I'm feeling wealthy enough to give them more. My favorite meals are breakfast and lunch. Dinner is too much. Dinner is just redonk. Why is the nicest meal right at the end of the day when you're tired? Lunch should be most intense. :D

I'd like to do en plein air painting this summer :D
I'm gonna miss the sunporch. It was such a nice addiction to the awesome house I was just in.

My life is really good guys. I can't complain at all. I'm scared about what I'll do for money, but I'll do something. I have to be braaaaaave
nyeh