a long long time ago, i was drunk and angryyyy...

Sally Hill
Resume
Your Business
February 22 2010

Why should I work for your company? Because I love your company. Because they’re going to give me a purpose to my day. Sure. Going to college is okay and all, but I’m not really sure about this preparing for a theoretical job business. This is the now. And I need a job now. Why? I need to emotionally separate from my mother. Partially, this requires financial separation so I can be respected. Why else? So I don’t mooch off of my friends. I would feel like the biggest moochy asshole. My momma’s new husband’s got a problem with me and I need to show I got some guff n’ balls and suchforth.
Reasons I am good for your company
A lot of my friends are ridiculous yet I love them and tolerate them.
I am ridiculous yet I manage to stay patient and not punch myself in the liver EVERY night.
I am patient.
One time, I had to work for a bipolar woman who was my friend’s mom. I had to deal with her weird employee who listened to a super angry liberal show on the AM radio for like 5 hours. And kind of just repeatedly sealed plastic bags. Or listened to her yell about her daughter’s boyfriend. And lo, I persevered even though I didn’t get paid none. Not only did she give me a crazy bipolar lady review, I still made her a pretty lil letter with a painting telling her I was still thankful for the positively retarded experience. I am used to dealing with positively retarded people. Because I’ve moved around so much, I also can figure out how people tick before they go off.
Reasons I am good for your company.
I am pretty awesome with gay people. I’m like, really nice. I really like movies. I got B’s in my science classes even though I am an art student which shows I do stuff for the innate merit of it I guess.
Also a reason why stuff is okay
Stuff is okay because I’m neat and have guilt problems and overcompensate to not feel like a hunk of poop. So I’d probably work really hard. I need to save money for food. I’m just trying to get paid. Why won’t you let me get paid. What is wrong with you.
I can be whoever you want me to be baby.