Saturday, February 12, 2011

Man
I have a crazy capacity for guilt.
But I have every right to date someone, it's been long enough I think. I just feel like I'm somehow being pretty inappropriate. Every little thing makes me guilty.
I worry about if I'm being a good person all the time.
I feel like I spend too much money
I feel like I'm too confident
I feel like I'm simultaneously too fragile and durable
I find my conception that I am not a fully formed version of myself unless I'm single interesting
Since I date anyways
I'm trying hard to do the best job right now and I don't even know what that means.
I feel like I don't have enough time.
Vaaaaaague
I don't feel able to connect with many people right now
I don't know if I'm a nice person at heart. I think it's really dumb I'm worrying about this. I wish I could just tattoo sorry on my head, but obviously it wouldn't be sincere enough.
My brain is juggling lots of thoughts.
But at the same time I am proud of how many thoughts and worries I could juggle, I am not accepting. I hope I can just improve from here
Often my mental space is either blank or frenzied.
I feel best when I'm being creative.
Summer is scary. So unstructured.

4 comments:

  1. I definitely relate to your crazy capacity for guilt, Miss Hill. Blogs are oh-so-good for such confessional/introspective musings, hmm?

    You certainly do have every right to date.

    I also would like a sorry tattoo hahaha. Or maybe a shirt. We should silkscreen something.

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  2. Oh my god.
    We should silkscreen something! Just for shits and giggles. On some shirts from salvation army, whoop whoop.

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  3. Hells yes. I would probably make mine say "iforgotsorry." :D I still need to learn how to actually silkscreen though!

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  4. You don't know! It's really easy at the little armadillo. Don't know about anywhere else. I love any excuse for a little armadillo project :]
    Josee should make a shirt that says JOHN FUCKING MEYER :D

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