I keep wondering if I have a learning disability or if I'm just set on failing. I've always been awful at essays and writing. I didn't know when I signed up for sociology and anthro this summer that I'd be doing essays. I don't know why, I just assumed I wouldn't be doing any. I got D's so often in my last english class... I'm not sure why I felt like I could do the english course anyway. I don't learn things when people try to teach me how to write. Even if they make it as clear as possible, I know I'll fuck it up SO ROYALLY. It's terribly embarrassing, getting people I know to proofread the papers I write. I feel like I'm divulging to them for the first time how dim I am under the social exterior. Or at least how poorly I understand tasks and carry them out. It's really humiliating. I feel so, so, so sos ososo so so so stupid.
I seriously couldn't write a good essay if I took a whole course to work on it.
I hate it when one specific subject in school can make you feel just so so so stupid, no matter how hard you try. It's like me with math or driving. If those were the only things anyone judged my intelligence on, I'd be labeled such a dunce.
ReplyDeleteEven so, don't be so hard on your writing as a whole because I for one find it so wonderful in your blog, you have a very unique articulation and vibrant expressive energy and it always sounds just like you and you have lots of good things to say. Essays/academia aren't everything!
C:
ReplyDeletethis means lots because you are so darn talented and bright in my eyes
it's nice to know even people i think are super sharp can feel so ridiculous
i guess it's just frusteratin' . <3